Posts Tagged ‘life’

Time for a little peace


This is where I go to refresh my mind and feel remind my myself how lucky I am to be alive.





An attitude towards enjoying life


Do you count calories?

I used to, when I was an obsessed crazy woman.  I ate exactly 1500 calories every day, no matter what.  Exactly 1500 calories whether I was hungry or not whether I’d done a long workout and been rushing around all day or whether I’d been glued to the sofa all day.  I don’t even know where I got that figure from, but it was my figure from my teens to my early thirties.

When I say I ate 150o calories everyday.  What I mean is that at the beginning of the week I set out a carefully thought out meal plan, allocating my magic number of 1500 calories to each day.  I would follow this religiously, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks, once or twice I’ve followed it for a couple of months.  Then the inevitable would happen, I’d come home from work or some social occasion, tired or bothered about something, and I would binge eat like a woman possessed.  When I say binge eat I really mean it, I could easily eat 2 or 3 packets of biscuits, 5 chocolate bars, several packs of crisps, a few bowls of cereal, a few slices of toast, with whatever I had planned for dinner thrown in somewhere.  It really was like I was possessed once it started, there was no way I could stop until I was completely zoned out from the experience and too brain dead to feel whatever was on my mind.


Eventually one day I finally realised that the dieting/calorie counting wasn’t working and that no matter how strong my intentions the binge would always follow, undoing all my good work, making me feel physically sick and deeply ashamed of myself.  So I just stopped, it was hard, because I knew the calorie count of everything I ate, so it was hard not to automatically add them up.  I started purposely eating new foods that I didn’t know the calorie count of and eating out more, so I couldn’t count.  That’s how my love affair with avocados began.

With the end of calorie counting came the weight loss I was searching so hard for.  I have so much more energy and my skin glows.  I’m also a much nicer person to be around, I’m sure you can all relate to the moodiness of a dieter.

I still feel the urge to binge, it comes much less frequently now.  Sometimes I do have a mini binge but it’ll be a couple of biscuits or a extra helping of ice cream that I’m not hungry for.  That allows me to feel the comfort I’m searching for and out off dealing with what’s bugging me.  It’s not great and I’m working on it but it’s so much better than the way I used to be.  More and more often I’m using the urge to binge as signal that’s something’s not right and I need to slow down and figure out what that is and deal with it.  One day I hope that’s how I’ll deal with the urge (I call it the monster, because that’s what it feel like, an attack by an invisible monster), in the meantime I don’t sweat the few extra biscuits or extra scoop of ice cream.

Have you experienced anything similar?

Life is too short not to….

…eat dessert (cherry frangipane and ice cream for me last night)

…wear your good underwear on an ordinary day (you never know…)

…tell you loved ones you love them (you do, so why not?)

…smile at strangers (it makes their day, and yours when they smile back, especially if they’re cute!)

…follow your dreams (whatever anyone else may have to say about them)

…laugh everyday (Big Bang Theory works every time for me)

…run, jump, dance, sing (or whatever gets you going)

…tell those that don’t fully appreciate you to go **** themselves!

Well, I’m off to the dentist (yes with the good undies on!).  Then I’m meeting my lovely mum for lunch.  We’ll laugh, tell each other how great we are and share something delicious for dessert.  Then I have to go to work, I’ve only just started, but I’m going have to work hard not to put my last piece of advice into action! Well until I’ve found another job!

Have a great day!

Only fat girls don’t eat cake at parties

I think every woman must reach a point in her life when she jumps off the diet bandwagon and goes her own way, never to return to the self-imposed tyranny of eating as someone else dictates.

I remember my moment.  Surprisingly it wasn’t an ‘arghh, I can’t take this anymore’ kind of thing; it was more a quiet realisation and a sense of new found freedom.  Rather like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I was at a birthday party, where much fun was being had, everyone was chatting, meeting new people, catching up with old friends, enjoying a glass or two of wine and enjoying some delicious food prepared by the host.  The host is rather famous for her cake making skills, always delicious, always beautifully decorated and always appreciated by all.  So the much anticipated moment arrived and out came the cakes, everyone gathered around and helped themselves to a couple of small slices, all expecting to be back to try a slice of the others later in the evening.

Everyone except for one woman, who I had met for the first time at this party, had been chatting to and very much enjoying the company of.  This lady who was quite overweight, did not join in and told the little group we had formed that she was on a diet and so could not eat cake.

All fairly unspectacular so far, but it really got me thinking.  How can the world make sense when thin people eat cake and stay thin and overweight people don’t eat cake and stay overweight?  Watch out for this next time you eat out or are anywhere food is being served.  It is the thin people enjoying themselves and eating the delicious food, while the overweight people turn down the most delicious treats.

I’ve been the fat girl proudly declining the slice of cake at a party / creamy bowl of pasta at the special occasion restaurant meal / perfectly charred burger at the barbecue. The list goes on. It’s not fun, but it does bring a sense of achievement, and avoids the feeling that everyone’s watching thinking ‘look at the fat girl stuffing her face’.  I have also been (and remain) the girl who has found balance, reached a healthy weight and enjoys the occasional cupcake when the opportunity presents itself.  How did I get there?  By eating cake at parties!

What other people eat has always been a fascination of mine.  Observing the habits of the ‘naturally thin’ has taught me a lot.  By naturally thin I mean those who seemingly eat whatever they like and stay slim.  I have noticed that such women generally eat a good healthy diet; they do so in moderate portions; and include treats as when they want them, which isn’t at every meal or with every cup of tea.

As a result they generally feel good after they have eaten, by eating the foods their body desire, eating enough to satisfy but not stuff.  Which when you think about it must have been how we were meant to eat.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?